#but they've done things like this before
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Drawing i made to fight dysphoria
#bearhiko#im gonna vent here for a bit#so one of my friends blocked me out of the blue#im really worried about them#i hope im not being weird#and i hope they're okay#but they've done things like this before#and it wasn't in any good circumstances#i feel like maybe she's just avoiding me#i guess tbh I wouldn't blame them#i wouldn't doubt I've been a shitty friend#if they even considered me one#i don't know#i. cant form a coherent thought it feels like#I don't know what to do#they don't have me blocked on some stuff#and i feel conflicted#i want to message them#to check up on their well-being#but I also don't#out of respect#and as to not break any boundaries#I don't know man#i just hope they're okay#i should've been ab etter friend#sorry
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they cast a 28 year old for Tyson 💀
[relevant rants: here and here]
yeah, i saw - i wasn't holding onto hope of them casting a disabled actor for Tyson (still disappointed, just not surprised) but casting a 28 year old for a middle schooler is really out of left field. It's just an odd choice? Particularly given how much they've been emphasizing age-accurate casting so far.
It makes me really wonder what major rewrites they have planned for Tyson's character. Because as things stand currently there's no way to make Tyson's existing character work with this casting. Tyson is supposed to be in Percy's grade, but Daniel Diemer sticks out like a sore thumb against the child actors. Tyson being in Percy's grade is pretty important for the entire arc of Sea of Monsters with the main character arc being Percy combating internalized ableism and establishing him as a character who stands up for other marginalized kids. If they remove that, what's Percy's arc going to be for that entire season? At what point are they going to establish that about his character? Or are they just going to exposition it at us like usual with nothing backing it up and no actual character progression? And in later seasons the age gap is only going to be more prominent - like how is Tyson going to work in BoTL or TLO? Are they planning on removing his character entirely for those scenes? Are they going to remove him as a recurring character in general? It'd be really weird if they killed him off or something.
I'm also afraid for if they do try to keep Tyson's disability coding in some form - cause there's kind of no good way it can go at this point. Either they completely erase Tyson's coding because they cast an abled actor for him and that messes up the entire arc of the book and his character particularly in relation to Percy, or they have an abled actor attempt to portray a character heavily coded as having down syndrome (and i believe they're already doing similar with iirc Chiron's actor is abled but they're doubling-down in the show on Chiron being disabled) and given how they've written the neurodivergence themes (or absence there of) in the show so far there's just no way that'd end well. Like, Tyson's characterization is a little questionable to begin with in the books, but given the show's writing so far it just feels like we're very rapidly ramping up for an extremely ableist characterization of Tyson. Like i'm sure Daniel Diemer is a great actor, but... i'm just getting real tired of the show erasing the entire premise of the series :T
anyways as per my initial post about pjo tv tyson casting theories i guess it's time for me to start tearing stuff apart with my teeth ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv#pjo tv crit#tyson pjo#Anonymous#ask#sorry to play debbie downer i just would really like the Disability Series to. yknow. keep the Disability part in it.#the show has kind of already had subtle problems in the casting with stuff like a lack of plus-sized actors for plus-sized characters#and again with like Chiron casting abled actors for disabled characters. im glad they did it for Hephaestus#and im VERY happy about Hephaestus' casting. but he seems to be the only time they've actually done that in the casting so far#im not even sure if any of the demigod actors are adhd/dyslexic? i havent heard anything about it#like its not uncommon so i wouldnt be surprised if they are but i would think we would have heard about that by now if so#deepest sigh. i think the most annoying part is the series has so much potential to be really good!#like most of the casting would be the best thing ever if only the script was actually decent#i mean im not surprised if disney is afraid to cast more than one disabled actor or any plus-sized actors for major roles#cause it's disney. of course they'd be like that. which just kind of continues my point of - if youre gonna adapt a franchise#you should really be aware of like. the major details about it and the characters. before you dive head first into it and go#''oh whoops! no we cant do any of that because we dont want to. guess we'll just Change Everything or blatantly ignore it.''
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#zarude#i remember posting about this thing when it was revealed. one of the most confusing pokémon reveals of all time but i guess#they've done this kind of thing before? with like. zeraora? and other movie pokémon like. meloetta or something maybe. celebi#but i feel like this pokémon came out and then Everyone immediately stopped talking about it. and the movie it was in#and i never saw it and i never intended to! so!!! epic
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I'm telling you, everything's gonna be all right as long as we're together!
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#super mario bros#super mario bros movie#super mario bros movie spoilers#cherrysip edits#i've seen so many screenshots and a few scattered gifs but it doesn't seem like anyone's actually done a proper gifset SO#I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS SCENE. SO UNBELIEVABLY NORMAL. I DIDN'T WATCH THIS CLIP 60 TIMES AND CRY EVERY TIME#YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING#but seriously it is unbelievable how sweet these brothers are. i am SO grateful that the movie is actually giving a lot of emotional weight#to their relationship! i just can't get over how mario is wholly focused on soothing luigi because that's what's important to him#and how luigi does relax and smile because he trusts his brother wholeheartedly#PICTURES TAKEN SECONDS BEFORE DISASTER :( :( :( :( :( :(#i also love how you can tell mario genuinely did not know that luigi was sucked in too (this is confirmed in the newest tv spot too)#and so he's kind of in quiet awe of where he is and then HE SEES LUIGI and PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER MODE activates instantly#their reunion in the movie is actually going to end me. i will leave my mortal body behind and rejoin the sea. IT BETTER BE GOOD#but after this i don't see how it CAN'T be. this relationship is clearly the heart of the movie - if it's already emotional in this scene#then they've got to pay that off at the end!!! it's the law!!! otherwise things will just fall flat. i believe in u movie don't let me down
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ANDY: Don't wind yourself up, Dad. ROBERT: "Dad"? "Dad"?!
EMMERDALE (1972- ) ↳ 31.07.2005
#emmerdaleedit#ededit#emmerdale#robert sugden#andy sugden#daz eden#smallscreensource#filmtvcentral#televisiongifs#tvarchive#mine#mine: gifs#mine: misc#tv: emmerdale#again! he's not wrong!#like they've BOTH done horrible things but jack's constant favouritism of andy is unreal#i wouldn't mind but this whole 'andy is the better man over robert' narrative is bloody annoying. they're as bad as each other tbh#it's no wonder robert has a complex when it comes to andy#and it's been there since even before andy caused sarah's death and that's all on jack#i would like to clarify 'as bad as each other' in DIFFERENT ways#just in case that needed to be said (it probably didn't)
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idk man just thinking about how damsel3 literally just breaks the narrator. it is worse than the very thing that he will do Anything to prevent. that's how terrible it is to witness and to describe. man. man. i need to lie down.
#slay the princess#stp#the pristine cut spoilers#slay the princess spoilers#all things said and done tho. i think the smitten is very interesting to examine now. as opposed to before when he was just kinda. funny.#damsel3 doubles down on his name being the Smitten. he is not love or adoration. hes smitten which is usually uaed to be like frivolous love#or love at first sight. which is what his love for the princess is.#and he will never get anything deeper bc he doesn't want that. he wants the princess to be what he wants her to be.#he thinks that his love is righteous and pure but he's so deluded to that idea that he'll deny his supposed love her own agency.#he literally says he wants to give her what “she doesn't know she wants” and when in the epilogue she shows actual want and desire that#doesn't align with his idea of what she wants/really what He wants. she is punished#man its just so good i understand why the devs said it was the best thing they've written. it's so subtle but good.#idk how i saw someone misinterpret it (or just mot interpret it at all ig) and said they wanted a route where they help the smitten#when like 😕😕😕 diva its an abusive relationship allegory 😕😕😕 i don't think we should have a route where. we help. do that.#like yeah we do fucked up shit in this game but. that is a tad too real i fear !!!
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some postgame doodles for pride month
#martzipan#komahina#hajime hinata#nagito komaeda#domestic kmhn likers pspspsps cmere#i never draw just fluff/domestic things bc i get too in my feelings lmao. this one was no exception#i had to take a break midway through bc i got sappy. IT'S OK THO we got it done :3#neways these tie into some headcanons of mine so i'm gonna share 'em here#mainly i hc them having little ways where they just look out for each other#komaeda is usually the only one who can convince hinata to take a goddamn break without having to forcefully drag him away from his work#bc hinata does NOT take enough breaks. and he does not listen to reason#until there is a komaeda who is tired and can't go to sleep without his human teddy bear :((( can't let him go to bed aloneeee#n i think hinata just. casually feeds komaeda ALL the time#bc he won't eat enough on his own. and if you offer him food he'll be inclined to see it as a nicety and try to reject it#but if you just. Put Food In Front Of His Mouth. he'll eat it#it's kind of a reflex like komaeda doesn't realize he's being fed most of the time#they take care of each other bc they won't take care of themselves otherwise lmao. it's a little dysfunctional but they're trying#i think once they've recovered enough to be able to just enjoy each other's company they get REALLY really giggly#they have a lot of teenage/young adult love stuff to catch up on and since they didn't really have a puppy love phase. they laugh a lot#they'll try to do something tender or sweet but then one of them will start to laugh. and then it's not long before the other breaks#komaeda usually breaks first. bc he's always in awe of just how happy he is. bc he never thought he COULD be this happy#not without hell looming just over the horizon anyways#when hinata breaks first it's bc he's thinking of how much they've both been through and put each other through#and he's just sort of like 'how the fuck did we end up here'#(btw komaeda snorts when he's trying not to laugh. this is just fact trust me)#OH AND I HAVE MANY HEADCANONS ABT THEIR SLEEP STUFFS#as stated hinata runs hot and komaeda runs cold. but ALSO#hinata's a sprawler. komaeda gets Clingy. it works out for them tho#if komaeda doesn't have hinata to hold like a body pillow he'll curl into the tightest little ball. it gives him back pain lmao#oh and yes. they absolutely wake up with their legs incredibly tangled together
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As a big sibling with a lil sib with epilepsy, when they read TBC they Honestly thought if they got struck with lightning reciting the lord's prayer they'd be cured like Shadowsight is from their epilepsy. I had a discussion with them on how that's not how it works, but ge was so upset they took it away from Shadowsight that he hasn't picked the books back up and has stated that 'he hopes Ashfur wins and starts a new religion.,'
I do not even know how to respond to this besides saying that your little sibling is 100% right to be pissed and I now also hope Ashfur wins and starts a new religion.
#Legit I did not know that Shadow's epilepsy being taken away was so deeply upsetting to SO MANY people#I put it back because putting it back was just the right thing to do (even asked the small following I had at the time what type to portray#(they picked the full tonic-clonics. I would have just done localized or absence if they'd asked me to)#And I did all that research for one single anon who asked for an epilepsy herb guide#So holy cow I didn't know that SO MANY people were snubbed and upset by canon's choice to do that. I'm so sorry#Your little sib isn't missing anything btw they do just go on to confirm that Shadow no longer has seizures.#In book 4 of TBC they say that it was all Ash all along and that's what they've stuck with into ASC#I'm sitting on an essay about... That plot thread. The Ashfur Grooming one#But it's in my drafts because I was a bit afraid of controversy#because i think it was written poorly. Even on top of Book 4's pivot to retcon away Shadow's seizures#I know a lot of people like and are invested in the grooming subplot of TBC. But. I think it was executed AWFULLY#and its really telling that THIS is the plot they tout as grooming *by name* in-canon.--#--and that Shadow has to 'pay' for what he 'did' in some way as if there was ever a choice in the books they wrote--#--But seemingly didn't even seem to clock that what was happening in Spotted's H was grooming until there was intense backlash#and a big part of my contention is the way that Book 4 suddenly tries to retcon that Shadow was groomed from the time he was a child#when it was actually part of book 1 that Shadow was able to personally tell the difference between a real vision and Ash's suggestions--#--BECAUSE he didn't have an accompanying seizure#So like... just know it's also NOT just 'you' if you connected to the character that was epileptic. It WAS there. It was a BIG part of him#Book 4 retconned it so that his epilepsy was part of a long scheme when before that point it was part of him#''ohh ur destiny is to see into the shadows'' BULL SHIT!!#bone babble
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Maladaptive daydreaming.
#daydreaming#maladaptive daydreaming#maladapting daydreaming disorder#maladaptive behaviors#maladaptive coping#dissociation#immersive daydreaming#dimond speaks#yeah so adding this to my list here lol#my therapist helped me realize i dissociate a LOT and the primary way i do it is through vivid daydreams#they usually happen at work but they also pop up if i'm having a bad day or... anytime really.#i've also come to the realization that i have at least one of these a day which is not good fgsjh#my therapist says they're not inherently bad especially since they do have a positive effect on my emotions (if its a good daydream)#but it's gotten to the point that it's affecting the way i work#and they can last for a LONG time too#i haven't timed them but i do know they've been over 30 minutes at work before#this is either due to ADHD autism PTSD or a mixture of the three lmao#weeeee#anyway. this post isn't really intended to be a vent post#it's more like a 'this is my experience' type post#it just kinda comes across as somewhat vent-y#but that was because i wanted to try and immerse the reader into what its like to have these daydreams#like mine look NOTHING like this but making it more generic would help others understand it#the void is the general dissociation from reality#then you emerge in the dream#i can feel things as if i'm there- the sun the wind and sometimes even physical touch#and i'll stay there until something snaps me out#strangely i can get my work done while i'm doing this- i just wont have any memory of doing so. it's like being on autopilot#anyway. I hope this post was helpful to someone out there#if you also maladaptive daydream YOU ARE NOT ALONE! it's valid and you're not 'faking' anything. it's a genuine trauma response.
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oh is this the first one!
#i can't remember if they've done this before but i don't think so#seems like a recent inside joke bc they all did it together and so loudly dkfjskdjfksdf usually they have more time to Develop#1h51m c2e59#sc#critical role#cr2#cr lb#cr things#cr cast
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Six Some Sentences Sunday Saturday
and also A MOODBOARD. I am not even sure what those are for but people on AO3 have them on multipart works so I assume they are essential to the craft.
I'm hiding it behind a cut because although I know how to Make Internet Arts I am not especially good at it - I know the keyboard shortcuts I just don't know how to use them well.
When Sylvie catches sight of her reflection in the long mirror behind the bar she can’t resist giving herself a victorious smile; she’s here to celebrate and she damn well deserves that celebration. Finally she has found a buyer for her latest piece of work, and if all goes well it’ll bring at least a few months of financial security before she has to start worrying about the bills again. She knocks back the remainder of her margarita and orders another, and since the bartender keeps unsubtly staring at her chest she takes her time searching in her purse for the payment, just in case this prompts him to offer this one on the house. He doesn’t (well, it was a bit of a long shot) but someone else does – a tall, pale, dark-haired man steps in to play Prince Charming instead, and on first impressions alone this unexpected understudy might be good for more than one free drink; she wishes she had ordered something more expensive.
(No prizes for guessing that her "latest piece of work" is in some way fraudulent, or for guessing who the buyer is.)
#you may now clap#fic snippets#six sentence sunday#except not really#they bang in chapter one btw as i do not have anything like enough patience to do a 'slow-burn'.#and also because that's kind of essential to the 'mistaken identity' element of the fic.#i say “mistaken” but they're both actively lying to each other while not being aware that it's each other they've been lying to.#if you see what i mean.#i might change the title as i don't want to be seen to imply knifeplay when there isn't any in the story.#(i've done that before; it just ends in disappointment for everyone.)#SYLKI IS A VERY KNIVES-BASED PAIRING YOU CAN'T BLAME ME FOR THINGS THAT ARE LITERALLY CANON THAT'S JUST UNFAIR#i used photopea dot com to make this artsy collage btw it's like a free online potatoshop#(i'm not paying adobe a monthly subscription fee to be able to use their software poorly and recklessly!)#which of them is sharklike? bold of you to assume i know. (but i do and it's both of them. CRIMES!! CRIMES EVERYWHERE!!!)#felt cute might pretend this post never happened later#(that's why you have to clap)#oh the shark has such teeth dear
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Inspired by and partner prose to Jamaica Kincaids' Girl
Today is transgender day of remembrance💙 I love you all and please please stay
#scamera poems#scamera writes#trans#transgender#transgender day of remembrance#original poem#in case you haven't read Girl before. its a mother figure telling a daughter how to act 'like a woman' for society#this is society telling you (a trans person) how to act. its supposed to be uncomfortable and feel bad#because rn thats what society does#don't let them forget what they've done to us#but stay alive to keep remembering those that can't be here#trans people keep living please. for you. for me. for past and future trans people. please keep living#i love you#also this isnt my favorite thing i've written but i dont mind it
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onk is so annoying~~~~~~~!!!aahh I actually feel like I'm going to get so many things right in the end and I have all the answers, I SERIOUSLY DO, I'm not- I'm not being full of myself or making baseless claims, I just SEE what they are trying to do with the writing, the feelings of the characters at least, some of them are painfully obvious BUT THEY JUST KEEP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH AND KEEP TRYING TO TWIST THINGS AWAY AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT ISN'T. That's what I find so annoying!! It's actually one of the reasons why I took a break from reading the comic after some time when I picked up the work after having viewed S1 last year. I know what they're doing and why the characters are written like this, and how they're like this, I'm pretty positive!!
I was annoyed about Aqua last time because he still had feelings for Kana yet the authors made him entangled with Akane while he DIDN'T abandon his feelings for her, I'm really sorry but he shouldn't have treated Akane like that. It wasn't fair. His feelings towards Kana NEVER once changed. I JUST SAW THAT, the writers make him stray away from that feeling he was for painfully long, they better make the whole reveal fulfilling in the end, I KNEW aqukana was going to be endgame for so long. Aqua SHOULD NOT have treated Akane the way he did if he really wanted to build a genuine relationship with her. The anime S2 seems to leave off at there where he asks her to be a couple, well, I think he did try, but he didn't discard his feelings towards Kana as he did either. I just.. knew, that what happened wasn't what he truly wanted and this guy NEVER confronts his desires, he should have gone up and told the person he liked about his feelings but this comic considers something like this a suspense or a plot point and lets it drag on for dozens of chapters... I came BACK after they confirmed about his feelings because GOD it was so obvious. This whole story would have gone nowhere without him ever having gotten true to his feelings, nothing would have been resolved without it because he'd always have had this lingering feeling for Kana and it's just hanging with it without being acknowledged in the story!!! It's not about what ship I support exactly, it's- I know what characters have feeling for whom!!! and they try to make it seem like it's some big secret because I get it, endgame ships are important but Aqua, as much as I cared for him(he's been making me so angry lately though,) was being a douche to both girls. They both can go kick his butt for toying around with those girl's feelings. and ehh I can see regardless of who his love interest is, ultimately the one person he really cares about more than his own life is Ruby HSHSH.. What is that guy doing. His dad told him to go back and live!! I am mad!!!
and now, I already partly have a good idea about how Hikaru and Ai's relationship issue's going to be resolved but they have to DRAG IT ON AND MAKE ME SO NERVOUS. The authors must really like doing this and think it's very clever but again, this is so tedious and nerve-wrecking to watch as a weekly issue with Hikaru being completely out of it, he's totally gone insane!!! The one guy Ai wanted to confess to being in shambles is both so ridiculous and so tragic to look at!! Look at the total mess he's become, they can't make him be so..;; so ugly like this, it's so rude to his being as a character and I'm sure they aren't going to leave him be like this as Ai's other half(YES THIS GUY!!! IS AI'S OTHER HALF!! HE'S DEVISED TO BE HER MATCH FROM THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT STAGE!!)
Come on everyone, I know what I'm doing.
YOU CAN'T MAKE AI SAY WHAT SHE'S SAID TO/ABOUT HER MURDERER!!!! THAT'S 1. SO CRUEL, 2.A DOWNRIGHT DUMB CHOICE AS A WRITER AND IT DOESN'T HAVE A POINT!!
YOU MAKE HER SAY THAT BECAUSE THE GUY DIDN'T DO IT AND IS SOMEONE WHO SHE CAN TRULY LOVE THAT WAY!!! HER NAME MEANS LOVE!!! I just... caught that as soon as this dropped and they lay out all these dumb and confusing ideas later on and make things sooo messy but it's actually, ultimately leading in this direction because DID WE SEE ANY CLEAR PROOF THAT HE WANTED TO HURT AI OR GET BACK AT HER. WE DO NOT BECAUSE HE REALLY DIDN'T DO IT!!! IDK ABT HIM KILLING OTHER PPL THAT'S VAGUE BUT AT LEAST, THIS GUY LOVED AI!!!! WHAT THEY HAVE IS MUTUAL AND HIS FEELINGS FOR HER'S BEEN WHAT'S BEEN MAKING HIM GO ON WHEN HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY WILL TO LIVE AND FEELS PRACTICALLY DEAD AFTER SHE'S GONE!!
THIS GUY WENT INSANE AFTER HE LOST THE ONE SINGLE PERSON WHO MATTERED THE MOST IN HIS LIFE. HE'S NOT HIMSELF!! I just watched how he appeared in the final ep in the anime and I kept going: 'oh this guy. He's totally lost it. He's totally gone mad, the madman. he needs to see a psychiatrist' BECAUSE WHAT'S BEING PRESENTED, IS NOT HIM BEING HIMSELF. I really think.. the guy became possessed or became out of it after he wished to see Ai again. Look, Look at what's happening in the songs. SOMEONE WISHED THE DEAD TO BE BACK. SOMEONE WISHED TO BE ABLE TO BE WITH THEM. THEY WERE WILLING TO DO ANYTHING IF ONLY THAT WERE TO BE POSSIBLE. THEY WISHED UPON "A STAR". There is no one else other than him that would have made that kind of wish.
HE WANTS AI BACK!!!!
Help omygod I'm so tired of the writers just dragging on and spinning things in circles and confusing the readers I JUST GOT THIS OVER AND DONE WITH AS SOON AS THE CHAPTER AND THE SONGS DROPPED AND
If they're doing to make him a villain they never would have had to put in that scene where Ai tells her children she wants her boyfriend to be helped. That totally isn't necessary. They never need to have told us she really loved him and wished to live forever with him. This isn't the type of story where HER efforts would remain a dumb, futile choice, Hikaru's wish may be but AS FOR AI, NO!!!! IT JUST LITERALLY CANNOT HAPPEN!!! THE ENTIRE STORY HAS HER WISH AND LEGACY UNDERLYING IN THE PLOTLINE AS A FLOW, THE STORY DOES NOT FUNCTION WITHOUT IT BECOMING A REALITY!!! RUBY AND AQUA'S WISH AND DRIVES ARE HIGHLY CORRELATED TO THE WISH SHE HAS, AND IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM DETACHING AND STRAYING AWAY FROM IT, IT'S ABOUT THEM ADDING ONTO IT AND STEPPING FORWARD BUT IN THAT SAME DIRECTION! THEY EACH BECAME AN ACTOR AND AN IDOL THE WAY SHE WANTED AND THEY PROGRESSED IN THE ROUTES IN THEIR RESPECTIVE JOURNEYS. THIS STORY CANNOT STAND WITH AI BEING DISREGARDED, SHE'S THE PIVOTAL, KEY PERSON THAT ACTS AS THE BACKBONE!! SO THERE IS NO WAY HER BELOVED IS A SIMPLE CRAZY INSANE MANIAC THE MOMENT SHE TELLS THE READERS SHE ACTUALLY LOVES HIM DEARLY!! SOMETHING'S UP WITH THAT GUY AND HE'S ALSO SOMEONE THAT DESERVES TO BE SAVED!! THAT CHARACTER IS DEVISED TO BE AI'S LOVE. HE IS. AND YOU DON'T MAKE THAT GUY BE A BASELESS SIMPLE FREAK, THAT'S WHY LITERALLY NOTHING'S ACTUALLY BEEN... TOLD TO US ABOUT HIM??? BECAUSE, THE STORY WANTED US TO THINK THAT WAY BUT HE ACTUALLY WASN'T!!!! IT'S RUDE NOT JUST TO HIM BUT AI!! AND I AM SURE THE WRITERS REALLY DO LOVE AND CARE FOR AI. They won't make her look dumb. Not only does it make the character's charm die out, it just totally downplays and degrades the entire series as a whole. Ai is that central. I'm not saying this because I favor her, it's just.. the way she's devised.
it's such a relief this manga's on hiatus till October 24th~ 'v')/ ah.. I can relax.. I can relax. um, probably till this time next week, this comic is oh, it can get super dumb(I'm so sorry aka-san and mengo-san. I don't mean it in a literal sense I'm just TIRED THOUGH). There are so many things I like about it but it stresses me out, I honestly wouldn't be like this if I could not spot anything, but I just SEE these things so clearly and I feel so lonely about it, there is NO WAY it wouldn't go otherwise at least I think so, but it's not my work and the writers aren't me either so I can't be completely sure- it's... painful to wait out and see the characters making dumb choices and making crazy faces, making vague statements that actually result to nothing much and having to wait a week for unanswered questions, every week, I'm not sure if this is supposed be suspense or cliffhangers or what makes the readers want to grab the next episode etc but I've never seen a comic that works so much like a morning kdrama, it's been that way as of lately and it's really wearing me out
oh guys, oh guys don't worry. I never play a game I'd lose. I really need to buy one of those storywriting books- the "how to write" sort of things right. but I; just don't see this going any other way in an ultimate sense. The answers are already out. What I'm unsure is how we'd get there. I could sit back.. and come back after a year like the way I did last time, but I stepped in way too deep and it feels like a sinkhole.. I keep getting afraid if I get anything wrong, oh, I actually feel I can speak.. a little.. when they have breaks like these. otherwise I'd get too nervous to say anything... I can just focus with doing what I enjoy regarding this work without having to worry about just what the heck may come next...
I have like 3-4 ideas I want to draw, I want to get to that before the next chapter drops lol if this comic keeps making me so;; nervous, yeah, I can just rest. I've been pushing so hard~~~~ I'm sure the writers are having so much fun right now and I'm just playing into their hands as a reader because wouldn't it be so nice!! be so fun!! to have people feel things regarding their work! but it's time they start providing us answers now and give this story a good wrap-up. I hope it has like three volumes left at least; I will regret having read this piece if they just drop what that can be perfectly good because, because, I can see this piece getting a really good resolution. They can do it!!! I SEE IT! IT CAN HAPPEN! EVERYTHING CAN MAKE GOOD SENSE AND IT CAN BE GREAT!! AND I think that's what they're going for. I got so many things right about this piece, oh.. I really hope it does go in the way I could be happy I read it.. I got in again because I caught a glimpse of it.
#oshi no ko#oshi no theories#oshi no ko spoilers#yeah I'm going to draw like 3 hikaai comics before the weekend passes lol#long post#;;;; I just get so nervous every week because recently it's been like#oh what other crazy things would unfold.. how much are they going to make it so unnerving to read...they've all grown mad...#I really miss Ai.. how would she feel about the current situation#she does not deserve this mess of a situation. all she wanted was the ones she loved to be happy. if anything I ROOT FOR HER#ppfg the current situation.. it's just horrible for everybody. there is no way this is it.. it's actually funny how ridiculous it is#and nothing is explained either. come on-if you are the writer think about it would you give Ai a guy that only gives her sufferings!!!#the guy was decent!! more than just decent!!! it had to be that way so I AM NOT SURPRISED WHEN THEY SAID HE WAS NOBLE!!!#AND IF HE WAS NOBLE-HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!! SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM!! THEY KEEP FROM TELLING US THE GOODS#THAT GUY PROBABLY WISHED AI BACK IN DESPERATION. THAT MESSED HIM UP...IT GAVE HIM WEIRD IDEAS...THAT'S WHY THE SONG'S NAME'S MEPHISTO!!!!#EVERYTHING CLICKS!!!!#spoilers#I can't with this piece guys.. I'm so done.. I can't#I really hope hikaru and ai gets some justice..if hikaru does deserve it. he's gone insane because he couldn't live without Ai.#he wants his girl back. he lost it...#aquakana#aqukana#hikaai
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Thasmin is like the opposite of ships like Swan Queen or Supercorp because while it is canon, the relationship itself is barely there in the show and lacks any serious focus or development whereas Swan Queen or Supercorp are both major parts of their respective shows and given a lot of focus and development even if the relationships themselves never become canonical romantic. None of these shows handled these relationships well, I'm all ranted out over my issues with OUAT, but it is fascinating that the relationships that were non-canon still feel more genuine than the one that was.
#doctor who#once upon a time#supergirl#shipping thoughts#what must it be like getting into something like thasmin through fan content#only to then watch the show and discover there's barely anything there#it is a stretch to even say they have a relationship#when yaz says she wants more time with the Doctor at the end of episode 4 it just doesn't feel earned#they've barely gotten to know each other#she's saying what you expect a companion to say at that point#but nothing has been done to really set that up#which is one of the crucial systematic issues with the era#it does things because you expect them in doctor who#not because it has earned them#same with thasmin#you expect the doctor and companion to be romantic#because we've had so many before#but the leg work is never put in for it to feel genuine#meanwhile the other shows did more than enough to earn a romantic relationship#but the writers obvious didn't want to commit
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With Krok now on my mind, it's reminded me of like, the whole deal of him coping with the loss of his squad by believing they'd just become separated? Because that bit is such a fascinating aspect of his character to me.
It's vague in a way that doesn't totally confirm whether he truly 100% deluded himself, or if he just kept telling himself that to try and distract from the truth and memories he didn't want to face.
(Which, for some reason this pisses Misfire off? Which implies something really interesting there about Misfire and his own coping mechanisms and issues that we don't get much of a peer into unfortunately.)
Anyway, I spent way too long thinking about it when I was reading through the comics. And it's like, did studying battles and strategy play a part in this delusion/lie?
Like, you're a being that lives for millions of years, in the middle of a war spanning those millions of years. So, at some point, surely those battles are going to start to blur together. So you've got that, and then you go and face a frankly horrifically traumatic fight that quite literally rips the people you cared about most, and felt responsible for, apart.
Presumably, Decepticons aren't the greatest at handling shell shock and other such side effects of war. So they just take this freshly traumatized mess of a dude, take him off the front lines and plant him on a warworld to aid the fight from a more comfortable distance.
With all this, the mind is bound to be fickle when faced with such sudden loss and change. But Krok obviously did his job there, or at least he was very knowledgeable on history and tactics beforehand.
Either way, he studied battle after battle, went through records of fight after fight, planned for what's next and reconsidered what had already happened. Hundreds of wins and losses.
So did it get jumbled there? In having a head full of battles, did some of them blur and mix with the one that took everything away from him? In trying to solve the failures of past battles, did he try and find where a victory could've been had against the wreckers that day? Did he find a solution that would've had his squad still whole and alive?
From there, did it slip into delusion, or a desperate lie to keep himself going?
I feel like his "mental health matters" moment was an interesting insight into it and possibly the average soldier's rough outlook on trauma. But it was still very surface level I think, but I guess going too deep into the why's and how's wouldn't have been important until maybe the Scavenger centric comics that uh, never happened :/
#i'm probably reading too much into it. but im a sucker for war stories and such in fiction. esp sci fi.#i grew up military. so its like. i need to know the details within the media im reading. or else it feels poorly done or handled#and tf is frequently at its core a story of war. even in g1 it covered that fact. loss and coping and stuff#and idw1 is best in the post-war era. but it only sometimes dips into the real nitty gritty of what that all entails for ex-soldiers#the scavs are particularly interesting in that sense. since none of them were ''important''. they were tragically deemed disposable#and like. the bit where krok is explaining what happened during the war was just so good. just the disillusion and betrayal and hurt-#-towards megatron and the high command. like. argh. it was just *chefs kiss* when it comes to writing an interesting ex-soldier#fulcrums line about the war being over being comparable to the sky no longer being blue is also just. ough. esp since he wasn't a soldier#it just shows how ingrained the war was in every bot and cons life. and its so tragic and fascinating and augh#and like. the cons are awful. yeah. but they're also just an army chock full of random people with their own unique views and opinions#and the scavs are great vessels for telling that angle. that perspective. of just being someone swept up in it all#they're great comedy relief and all too. but theres so much fascinating story potential there too of hardships and disillusion#i mean. the whole deal with the djd?? the comparisons?? the hypocrisy bcs they're all bad people but for different reasons???#i could go on for hours about it. and i actually have and it's never coherent. but its like my fav thing about cons#which is probably a bit weird. i've been told having an interest in fictional wars and its effects is weird. but idk#its personal for me. you grow up hearing shit from vets and what they've been through. their own disillusions and it sticks with you#i'm gonna stop before i start to vent lol. but yeah. just krok and his ptsd and the greater untouched trauma within post-war cons
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tbh i think the coldest and most shocking thing that can happen in an argument with this man is if you call him "john" and he corrects you to "constantine". biggest red flag you can find on the play. sounds pretentious when you're not experiencing it. means he's absolutely fucking furious with you.
#like here's the thing: he's not going to correct you if he doesn't know you or like you. he won't give anyone that power over him#he won't ever let some random jackass know they've gotten under his skin. it's just not worth the effort to him.#so if he's correcting you? it means you know him on a personal level. it means you're at Bare Minimum good friends#and it means he's so fucking angry that he's rescinding your place in his life until the argument is resolved. the castle gates are closed#you are now on professional speaking terms until this is resolved and the professional constantine is a real nasty piece of work#who will not spare your feelings or try to salvage whatever you've built with him. professional constantine wants the job Done#i've talked before about how little effort his father put into naming him after his mum died and how unemotional john's been about it since#and how unique it must feel when someone says 'john' to him with love or care or compassion after a lifetime of hearing it in anything but#like his first name doesn't usually mean a lot to him! its use is not a closely guarded privilege!#but if he cares about you then calling him 'john' can feel as intimate to him as a kiss#and if you burn him he will snatch that level of access away from you for Months. sometimes Years.#so! yeah!! if he ever corrects your name choice in an argument then you've Really Fucked Up Buddy!!!!#( also. hypocrite that he is. if you're on 'john' terms and you call him 'constantine' in an argument FIRST he will be absolutely WOUNDED )#( and he will cover with that professional veneer. that cold uncaring mask of anger. but it's trapped-cornered-animal anger )#( it's let-me-cover-this-injury-before-you-can-really-get-your-fingers-in-it defensiveness. and he will be cautiously distant afterwards )#( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.
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